God’s Late Night Monologue

9 March 2004
By Jim Weller

I’m an ordinary human being, like you; and I’m a religious person. I care about what I understand to be my responsibility to perceive the meaning of God’s will and to serve the divine purpose as best I can. Now, as far as I know, the Creator of the Universe does not grant us personal audiences. Nevertheless, I’ve spent some time imagining what God’s message for us might be, if God were to appear, say, on the Tonight show. So, here’s David Letterman:

DL:      “Tonight we have a very special guest, never before seen on national television. Please welcome to our Los Angeles studios God Almighty, Author of All Creation, and LORD of All Nations!”

GA:      “Thank you, David. It’s a pleasure to be here. I hope you won’t mind if I don’t sit down. I rested for a long time before coming here.”

DL:      Of course; be comfortable. So, what do you have for us, God?”

GA:      “I want you to know that you are all my children, and I’ll always love you, unconditionally. I am a God of mercy and justice. Those are the spiritual gifts of my love; they are real and they are available to you forever. All you have to do is accept them, and pass them on.”

“There are a few things we have to talk about, though. The first one is this: You people have got to stop killing each other. It’s just not okay. Read my lips – you shall not kill. I told my prophet Moses this in plain language, less than four thousand years ago, and I haven’t changed my policy since then. I know your attention spans are short, so I’ll say it again: No killing! I mean it. No excuses, no justifications; you shall not kill, period.”

“I want you to make sure everyone understands this, especially your leaders, because I know they’re not listening. Tell them there are four simple words in that Commandment, and the operative one is ‘not.’ What part of ‘not’ don’t you understand? There is no exculpatory language in this. I said, ‘you shall not kill.’ I didn’t say, ‘except your convicted criminals.’ I didn’t say, ‘except your government’s designated enemies.’ I didn’t say, ‘except those who strike you first.’ I didn’t say, ‘except those who you think might someday have the capacity to harm you.’”

“If you can’t accept this Commandment, you’re going to have to accept the consequences of your accursedness. After all the horrors that have gone down in your history, you ought to know by now what that means. You will reap what you sow.”

“I trust I’ve made myself clear on that point, but that’s not all I have to say. I want you to start taking the things my prophet Jesus told you seriously. He was not the first, nor the last, to tell the plain truth, but his words have been repeated more often than any, and a lot of you still don’t seem to get it. So let’s get back to basics.”

“‘Do unto others as you would have done unto you.’ You can begin and end your moral reasoning with that. ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Just a few years ago, my beloved M.K. Gandhi put it this way; ‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world.’ Is that really so hard to remember? I want you to start making these the first principles for every decision you make in your life, and in your society. If not you, then who? If not now, then when? Let’s get with the program, kids. This is not rocket science. And that reminds me: If you can’t take care of each other here on earth, what good do you expect to do by going to Mars?”

 “It’s high time for you to start showing each other the real meaning of mercy and justice, the way Jesus taught you, and I’m not just talking about the business of your courts and cops and lawyers. I’m talking about the way you relate to every other human being, person to person, everywhere in the world, every day.”

“You’ve all got to just get over your obsession with wealth and power and privilege and property. ‘You cannot serve both God and Mammon.’ ‘The rich man will find it harder to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle.’ The more you acquire and consume that you do not need, the less those in need will have to simply live. You’ve got to stop trashing God’s creation. Start putting more creative energy into learning how not to poison your land and air and food and water, and less into maximizing the return on your mutual funds. This is not righteous. This is not just. This is not merciful. And ‘God is not mocked.’”

“Yours are God’s hands and feet in the world. It is only by your vocation that God’s work is done. It is in your heart that God’s love is expressed, and in your conscience that God’s will is made manifest. The kingdom of God awaits humanity’s response – and that means you – to bring forth blessedness on the earth.”

“I know there are a great many of you who are making your lives blessed by acting each day in beneficence, and I want you to continue to celebrate your goodness. You are among the awakened and the blessed when you choose not to do harm, though it were easy to do otherwise, and many selfish voices incite you. You are blessed when you do not pass the beggar by, when you do not withhold comfort from the suffering, when you refuse to allow the unjustly privileged to appropriate for themselves the wealth of your communities. You are blessed when you refuse to accept the unjust wars made in your names, when you denounce all injustice done in your names by willful rulers.”

“Remember that your conscience is your connection with God. Trust in it, and it will not fail you.”

Those are my fervent imaginings. That’s the best I can tell you. God is never going to turn up as Leno’s or Letterman’s guest. God is not going to tell you in so many words what you have to do, or not to do. But I know this: There’s a reason why we are here; and the truth is not hidden. There’s a still, small voice in the heart of every one of us that will tell us the truth, if only our clamorous minds will shut up long enough for us to listen. That’s what prayer is.

May you each be prayerful when the meanings of your lives matter the most. May you be blessed with faith, and hope, and love. May your will lead you not into temptation, and may you be delivered from evil. For in your own soul are the kingdom, and the power, and the glory of God, now and forever.

Amen.